Memory Wall

Graeme in his happy place with all his cars

Damnit, Barlow. You've cocked it up again.

Graeme and I were long time pen pals. Or, more accurately, Graeme and I very much enjoyed poking the bear (the other one), whenever a topic of politics or the automobile industry arose in the press. Graeme voraciously studied the political situation in the States (having spent a bit of time there with Ford in the 70s or 80s, I am not fully sure). He would often reach out to me, and "ask my thoughts" on some matter (as you can well guess, his missive would be 90% his cocksure opinion, and only slightly interested in my take on the subject; banish the thought that I would disagree with him, he was always quick to point out the errors in my thinking). But this was the best part of being correspondence friends with Graeme, he could take as much as I could dish.

I was with Graeme during the last of his HNZ days, from 1996 to 1999. As a co-worker I was always struck by his indefatigable nature--like the punching clown toy, you could pile on all matter of abuse, and he would quickly bounce back, with the same silly smile. I never saw him hurt (perhaps he was extraordinarily capable of hiding the pains). I learned a lot about Kiwi male Stoicism from GB.

In the very last month of his life, I reached out to Graeme, as he had not abused me with his opinion in quite a while. It was only then that he confided to me of his prolonged illness--of course, I had no idea. I thought about it for a moment, then told him that I would be down the next weekend to visit in Queenstown. Painfully for me, he declined my offer to visit. I had asked him to wait a bit longer for me, but he didn't.

You see, this was Graeme through and through. He was always convinced that his way was correct, my thoughts rendered irrelevant. And, he had his way again, to the very end.

In the two and one half decades since I left NZ I kept in contact with GB more than with anybody else (which, frankly, surprises even me). This is a testimony to Graeme's good nature and conviviality. He was gregarious to the bone, always kind and a gentleman.

Be at Peace, my friend.

I first met Graeme around — guessing — 1993 when I went to pick up a Honda for a week-long road test and hearing I was at reception he came through because he wanted to have a chat with me about motor racing. He was engaging and funny. That was the start of what became a friendship that continued when he came to work with me on my three magazines. He wrote brilliantly and was a better than average photographer. He was a good fit as they say. We socialised with GB, Christine and the family, we had beers "out East" on most Friday nights — and dinners out — and GB and Christine baby-sat my Kate the border collie on numerous occasions. When GB and Christine moved to Wellington I called often to the small but absolutely immaculate house. I enjoyed his company immensely — he was everything that has been said of him. Funny, straight-shooting and he did know the motor industry inside and out. But never get into a political discussion with him — I was a bit too left for GB. The move the Queenstown and my own move to Oamaru saw us lose contact, his old phone number didn't work, nor did his email address and there was no way he way going to have anything to do with that Satan called the internet or Facebook. It was Hugh Barlow who, about six months ago, told me GB wasn't well, but he still enjoyed "banter" — and "here is his email address". So we reconnected, but not for long enough."The forest is lovely dark and deep, but I have promises to keep — and miles to go before I sleep."

As one of the Havelock North Barlows (Graeme's dad George and my dad Jock were brothers) my memories of cousin Graeme go back to being a small child. By which time he was already a grown up teenager! Over the years Graeme would often drop by - usually as a pitstop on a drive from Wellington to Taupo. Always there was much laughter. Of course! Whoever invented the word "droll" obviously did so knowing one day Graeme would appear.

I particularly remember a visit in Feburary, or maybe March, in 1969. My big brother John had bought a very shiny Triumph TR4 and was dead keen to show it off to Graeme (two car nuts with a bit of a competitive cousin thing going on - which never really vanished!) They headed off for a drive ... it was either a Saturday or Sunday and around 12.30pm my mum Rene had lunch well under way and was wondering "where those boys are"? The phone rings, mum answers and hands it brother Philip, saying "It's John, for you". Philip hangs up and says to mum "I need to borrow your car, John's car has had a problem."

Ten minutes or so later mum's Morris Minor is back up the drive and in they file - Philip looking bedazzled, John looking sheepish and Graeme with a big dressing plastered to his forehead. "Good gracious, what happened to you Graeme?" she asked ... and John muttered something about a "bit of a prang".

It made the Hawke's Bay Herald-Tribune (attached). The other photo shows John and Philip in more pristine days.

I'd catch up with Graeme reasonably regularly over the years and every time I met I knew two things - (1) there'd be an argument (perhaps politics, perhaps the virtue of whichever Honda he was trying to flog, perhaps Formula One ... but most likely politics!) and (2) we would laugh a lot.

Farewell cousin . You've left behind great memories for so many people.

I first met Graeme when we worked at New Zealand Motor Corporation (NZMC) in the 1980s Graeme in the Head Office on Wellington and myself Operations Manager for Motorcorp the NZMC dealers based in Auckland. In 1988 Honda Motor Company decided to take over the Honda franchise in New Zealand and formed Honda New Zealand Ltd with the Head Office based in Auckland. Graeme, Chris and the children moved to Auckland. I was the Northern Regional Manager responsible for the dealerships in the top half of the North Island, Graeme was Central Regional Manager of the bottom half of the Island and Stewart Park Southern Regional Manager for the South Island. Over the next 10 years we had a lot of fun together. Stewart nick named Graeme Captain Mainwaring after the character in Dads Army. Graeme fitted the part well always looking to organise and take charge and tell everyone what they should be doing. There isn't the space for me to tell all the stories over that decade but it remains one the happiest of my working career in no small part because the experience working with Graeme. He and I were petrol heads and during that time Honda was a force in F1 so we both followed Honda's success with interest. In Later years we kept in touch via David Farrars Kiwiblog with both of us having similar political views and posting these on the blog with Graeme using Captain Mainwaring as his handle. I always missed Graemes booming voice when he came into our open office at Wiri in Auckland and announced the latest success of his dealers. He will forever remain in my thoughts.